What is a PUA you ask. It’s a man who studies the art of being a pick up artist. I have met many of them. Some very well-known. I actually have a friend who teaches a course in PUA. Some of the men are legitimate . They have always been geeky and never really learned how to socialize. That is really the bottom line here. These guys never had many friends or they were short, out of shape or just geeks.
My friend invited me to an outing with him to witness a very well know PUA named Hollywood. The class was being held at a very well-known South beach hot spot. I could not resist the chance to see this in action.
The thing that amazed me the most was that 80% of the men attending the course were short. The other 20% were foreign. They talked about body language as well as posture , eye contact and opening lines. It was an open invite behind the curtain. I stood back and watched and listened as my friend made me swear not to say anything to embarrass him. They were off. I watched the games begin. 2 hours later as they all sat and discussed what they had learned I was even more disturbed when I ended up talking to one of the men afterwards and asked him what he was trying to achieve what was his goal? He stated simply “I never got the hot chicks like you”. John we will call him was about 5’6 a 39-year-old personal trainer from Brooklyn. I hate to disappoint him, but if that is his goal he his admitting he is only looking for one thing.
I believe meeting someone should be organic by chance, and when that chemistry is there you will feel it immediately. Whether he is short, stocky or a geek. The amount of money being made right now with courses, books and online programs teaching men how to meet, attract and pick up women is amazing. It is a multi-million dollar industry. There is sufficient interest in pick-up that some dating coaches like Nick Savoy, Mystery, JT Tran, Adam Lyons, Richard La Ruina, Chris Luna[4], James Marshall and Owen Cook have become pickup instructors full-time and have gone on to found companies that offer training for PUAs such as ABCs of Attraction, Love Systems, Venusian Arts, PUA Training, Craft of Charisma and Real Social Dynamics, respectively.
The term pickup artist entered the popular lexicon in 2005 upon the arrival of Neil Strauss‘s best selling book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, also in 2007, from the reality television series, The Pick-up Artist, shown on VH1, starring Mystery.Pickup receives mixed responses from the press and general public, many people viewing it as immoral and or unethical which has led to the creation of companies that disassociate from the industry. Pickup has also been heavily parodied, in March 2011 The Scott Mills show on BBC Radio 1 attacked Neil Strauss’ “The Game” in many shows.
I must admit when I found out that my ex was so about this society it made me a little queasy. He was young and tall and fairly good-looking why did he need this? Well turned out he had absolutely no social skills. The only person I had ever seen him comfortable around at the time was me.
Now, I may be wrong, but in my experience I think the majority of the guys into pick-up are into it just for that, to just hook up. They are not studying this to find love but to be able to hook up more often. Now If men are going to be armed with these so called tactics then I believe women deserve to also be armed with the defense of knowing when someone is using PUA lessons on them. So I implore my girls to please read up on it. Read THE GAME and make your own assumptions. Men need to realize its not that hard. Be yourself and be real. Have values and do not look at women as an object to be used for anything in any way. Try romance and eventually you may find someone who you feel that immediate connection to, and if you do, don’t let them go whether they are not a perfect 10 or older then you or whatever 100 other reasons you can find, because no class in the world, I don’t care if Don Juan himself is giving it, no class can take the place of real true chemistry when you just know this is a feeling you never had before almost like a connection to that person. That is what’s real and that is what doesnt come around often. Once maybe twice if you are lucky in a lifetime. And that is what is missing in today’s dating scene.
So what are your thoughts on this issue? Would you be offended to know the guy you are dating took classes and read books to get you to talk to him? Would you look at him differently? And men I would love to hear your views on PUA.
Sex and Miami 
It’s disgusting, and apparently narcissists love it since it is all a game to them.
there is no all bad in anything…not even PUA.
The whole PUA thing is old. It really is old news. When a guy uses specific tactics and planned routines to get into your pants, it’s weird. Not only is it weird, but it creates a blanket to cover the man’s insecurities. I was a part of this community for a few months so I know how it works. I backed out of it because I realized that I don’t need any of it, and it really is so superficial. My goal is to teach guys how to have real connections with women- something that many guys surprisingly have no idea how to do. I can’t tell you how many girls have told me that every date they go on is HORRIBLE. Guys are clueless these days, and there needs to be something that starts to point them in the right direction. I could go on about this topic forever lol but I’ll leave it at this. I always find it interesting to hear a girl’s viewpoint on the whole PUA thing.
I have a friend who teaches this garbage in the UK. I laughed at it the first time I learned what he did, but now it disturbs me because it’s truly a course in abuse. How can I convince a woman I’m something that I’m not in order to get her in bed with me? Hmmm? Unless she’s a whore also or at an age that she’s more interested in the hook up, as well, she’s going to end up hurt and victimized. I’d be sickened to learn I was with someone who took a course in adding another notch to his belt. At what cost manliness? Is this what a real man is? Nope. Sure as hell isn’t. A real man is one who attracts a woman by being honest, sincere, and vulnerable. Women aren’t looking for macho know-it-alls who fancy themselves playboys. We might be attracted to these creeps when we’re young and looking for fun, but the novelty wears off. Maybe that’s why most men who neve grow up end up with the young ones: it’s not that they aren’t attracted to older women, it’s because older women aren’t buying the garbage they’re selling. Let the PUAs figure this out, because they sure as hell won’t take our word for it! 🙂
Right on Paula!!
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This is really scary. For longer than I can remember, I have “studied” the opposite sex for every cliche reason you can think of. I have used this knowledge to start and finish relationships past and present…well not so present now. Enjoying your blog!