Since the beginning of time there have always been some form of younger men preying on older women. I believe back in my younger days they used to call them gigolos now players. Well, recently since the term “Cougar” has come along (if you are over 30 it seems), the emphasis seems to be on the older woman that is prowling around for the younger man, rather than the younger man who may be trying to deceive and take advantage of the older woman. So, how does an older woman tell the difference? Let’s take a look.
First let me start out by saying, only an older woman who is sure of her self, and has a well intact self-esteem should be the only women attempting to date a younger man. This is the first step in her avoiding being taken advantage of. Believe it or not it can be a curse when you look 15 years younger than you are because guess what you attract? You guessed it. If a women is confident and self-assured her eyes will be wide open, and she will see things clearly. This will help her separate the honest younger man who really does enjoy and want an older woman, and the one who is there for a free meal ticket.
Another important step would be to find out as much information about the younger man as possible. If he has had a lot of brief, and unsuccessful relationships with older women or any women in general, he probably isn’t a good bet. He probably quickly took what he could, and ran not walked to the nearest exit.
If the younger man seems to always be out of money, or conveniently forgetting his wallet a lot when you go out, chances are you are a meal ticket, and a meal ticket only. If he seems to hint around a lot about things he needs, along with a pathetic look of. poor me, I just can’t afford it, well you get the idea. I bet if you wait long enough his pretense of not wanting to take advantage will go right out the window. Down the road he will be more than happy to accept anything you bring his way.
If he seems to be a little bit too willing to do everything you want. In a real relationship partner’s give and take, if he is acting more like a puppy that rolls over and plays dead when you ask him, he’s probably not being honest about why he is with you. He is probably just trying to please you so he can stay around long enough to get as much as possible out of you while he can.
If there is a really big difference in your ages, a woman should start to wonder what’s up. He is either in the need for a mother, or hoping you’re going to kick the bucket before he’s to old to enjoy, your money. It’s only in rare cases that when there’s a huge age difference that the two individuals are soul mates who were just born in the wrong time. Often these couples will stay together.
When John Travolta was 23 he was very much in love with a women who was 18 years older than him . She died suddenly of cancer and he was left devastated for years and has talked of her many times, read it here http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20068072,00.html this is an example of that kind of love.
Last but not least, which is the clincher for older women, is that he is too romantic. I know you think no man could ever be to romantic, however, there’s a difference between romancing your sweetheart and drowning her false gestures. A younger man is very well aware that older women especially, like to be romanced. So, in order for him to get in your good graces and distract you from what he’s really there for, he may be so romantic, you can’t see straight. That’s exactly what he wants. He is also aware that romance is like a drug, if he gives you enough of it, you may never want to give it or him up. Ergo an older woman finds herself with a live-in Valentino she can support until the day she dies.
In the end it’s up to the older woman to keep her head, and guard her heart, so when and if that younger man comes along, she can make a clear, and healthy decision on whether that younger man she is attracted to, is there for her, or just what she can give him! If you lose your high paying job or God-forbid get an illness even a minor one, and he is gone like the wind, well then I guess you got your answer girly!
Young Sally Owens: Summoning up a true love spell called Amas Veritas. He can flip pancakes in the air. He’ll be marvelously kind. And his favorite shape will be a star. And he’ll have one green eye and one blue.
Young Gillian Owens: Thought you never wanted to fall in love.
Young Sally Owens: That’s the point. The guy I dreamed of doesn’t exist. And if he doesn’t exist, I’ll never die of a broken heart.
Practical Magic- 1998
If you could summon your perfect love what would you ask for ?
Somebody who I respect and admire asked me to write about my perfect love . Pretend we are little girls and summon your true love and all the qualities he will have. I feel a lot like Sally in Practical Magic. In the fact that the guy I want doesn’t exist then I can never have a broken heart again. However if he did… he will be strong and sweet at the same time…He will sing love songs to me and protect me…He will cook like Emril Lagasse and dance like a B-boy..He will make me laugh everyday…He will be my best friend and always have my back…He will be book smart and street smart… he will love to lay under the stars with me @ the beach just to listen to the ocean at night…He would touch me in a way that would make me melt…He would look at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world and make me feel like that everyday…He will be tall and very handsome…Most importantly he would love me for me and never compare me to another…And just to make it fun he will have half green and half blue eyes… And finally he would never ever hurt me in any way…I guess what I am asking for is just real true L O V E
While most of this is a little girls fantasy, at the end of the day what matters is the person who respects you, stands by you and will make you soup when you feel sick and lay in bed with you until you feel better. A person who is true who is real and who you feel you can be yourself around. No games, no pretending, just a real MAN. And definitely no boys!
So I am sending this out to the universe. Lets see what our heart and mind can manifest from our soul.
…And nobody but Robin Thicke sings about what my perfect guy would be like…
I grew up with two parents that were the epitome of what the term soul mate means. They were very much in love. Even later in life they still acted like teenagers with each other. One of the things they instilled in me and my sisters are love can conquer many things and ALL relationships take work, love, respect and honesty. My dad passed away five years ago and I think about him every day.
I often think what was the secret that they knew that kept their love alive for almost 5 decades.
Is it that they came from a different time? A different generation? Things were different back then family values meant something. Is that it? Or did they have “the formula ” to a perfect romance.
They fell in love and never fell out of it. So what is it? Growing up with them I can recall that they very rarely argued or raised their voices. I can’t recall ever hearing my dad even say a curse word in front of me my whole life. Not my mom, but my dad. Is it the respect that they had for each other coupled with love is that the formula? Love, laughter and if possible find some humor in it.That was my dad always smiling. Always making fun if he could .
I do remember much of our family activity centered around the dinner table. Both my parents love to cook . Making big breakfast and dinners for the whole family and always insisted we all eat together and talk about everything and anything. All discussions took place there. All marriages, pregnancies, college decisions, boyfriends were announced at that table. They were both Italian both from Sicily, but were really raised here in America. They kept the old school values alive even though they were very modern parents they kept the values of family alive. Their love for one another was just a magical thing. I guess they really were soul mates. My mom believes in her heart that they will meet again in another life and on the other side. I hope she is right. I also hope I get the privilege of being their child again in another life. I still pray to find the kind of love they had together.
So I share with you one of my dad’s favorite recipes and a Sunday dinner staple growing up.
I am giving you the meatballs recipe you can use any tomato sauce you like. But ours is a family secret. 😉
Papa Joe’s Meatballs
- 1 lb ground beef
- 1 egg
- 1/2 cup milk with 6 slices of white bread (ends cut off) soaked in milk. Then discard left over milk.
- 1/2 cup breadcrumbs
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 6 leaves of fresh basil finely chopped
- 3 cloves of garlic finely chopped
- 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
- 1/2 cup grated locatelli parmesan cheese
- 1 medium onion chopped finely
Mix all ingredients in a large bowl by hand.
Use your bare hands for best results.
Roll meatballs to about the size of a little bigger then a golf ball.
Fry in a pan with olive or canola oil make sure to brown all sides
Simmer for about 2 hours in your choice of tomato sauce. Serve with fresh spaghetti .
Romantic relationships can be really complicated and may even end with a bad breakup. The worst thing about these “sad endings” is that at least one heart ends up broken. Getting over a break up can be tough. Sometimes, it’s even hard for both sides–after all, breaking up is not easy to do. It hurts to throw away your story with someone–all the good memories and the dreams and plans you two had for the future. Mending a broken heart takes time and patience. But you must face the fact that your heart is broken. It doesn’t matter if you wish things could be different or if you even regret something you did. It doesn’t matter if you think you shouldn’t have become that involved with that person or if you’re angry and looking for revenge. The fact is: Your heart is broken! This relationship advice can help.
So now what? Are you going to sit and cry for the rest of your life or do you intend to do something? Was that ending your fault or are you not the one to blame? Is there something you can do to fix it? Is there something you should stop and think about so you can act in a better way the next time ’round? Is mending a broken heart even possible? Of course it is! Getting over a break up is possible. There are many things you can do to heal a broken heart! And the best thing is: It all depends on you! Here’s how to forget someone in 8 steps.
Cry out everything you have to cry about! When we get hurt, it’s normal (and good) to cry. Don’t ever think you’re being weak for crying and don’t feel embarrassed because of it! It’s normal and it’s good! When you cry, you let go of part of your anger and hurt so you can feel less heavy. You can lock yourself in a room, if you want to, and put on some sad music…but let yourself feel the pain and cry so you can let it go. The main thing here is: Get rid of the pain! Just let her go!
Get busy! When you’re trying to get someone out of your head, you need to put other things inside of it. In other words…get busy! It doesn’t matter how, you just need to get distracted. Go to a movie, watch a play, travel. It doesn’t matter what are you going to do–the important thing is to find something to do. Find a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, something to keep your mind busy. If your mind is busy, it doesn’t have time or space to think about the person you’re trying to forget.
Spend some time with your friends. Friends are always great to have in this kind of situation! Friends can make you feel good about yourself and get you distracted very easily. They will certainly make you laugh and make you see that you’re way more important than you think! The only warning is: Ask them not to talk about the person you’re trying to forget. If they start bringing the topic up in every conversation, you won’t be able to forget, and instead of making you laugh, they’re going to make you cry. So be honest and ask them not to talk about it!
Avoid the person! Try not to go to places you know you can meet that person. When you’re trying to forget someone and you two keep seeing each other, it can be even harder to get over it. If you meet him/her somewhere, be polite, but find an excuse to go away as fast as you can! If you work or study with him/her and you can’t avoid seeing him/her, just try not to look and not to talk too much. Just be gentle and keep busy all the time so you won’t have excuses to look at him/her or to chat.
Go out and see some different faces! Being at home gives you more time to think about the relationship, which makes the process of working through the end of that relationship even more difficult. So even if you’re not feeling excited or you’re in a bad mood, just put on your best clothes, best shoes, best smile, call some friends and go somewhere nice where you can dance, drink, listen to some music. And the most important: See some different faces! When you go out, you notice that the person you’re trying to forget is not the only one who’s got a perfect smile and an amazing voice…thank god, there are other interesting people in the world!
Avoid every kind of romantic thing! If you’re trying to forget someone, you’d better not watch romantic movies or listen to romantic songs…it makes you feel bad and you will certainly remember the person you’re trying to forget. It doesn’t matter if it’s a song you love or if it’s playing on the radio…just change the station or do something else. Put on some happy songs, dancing songs, watch some comedies, terror movies, whatever…you just need to avoid the romantic things for now!
Take good care of yourself. Women tend to run for some kind of self-destruction when they’re hurt. If we break up our perfect relationship, then we have no reason to get our nails done anymore and the only thing that gives us comfort is chocolate and sugar. That way, the only thing we do is to become less attractive and lessen our self-confidence. So if you’re hurt, just try to use your pain for yourself instead of against you. Go to the gym, work out a lot, get your nails and hair done…do whatever you can so you can feel more pretty and confident!
Accept the process! You can be really strong and it’s still going to hurt. The process takes time and you have to accept that. You can’t hope to forget in 2 days someone you loved for 2 years…and you can’t pretend to be strong if you feel like crying. Just face your pain and accept that it’s not easy and it’s going to take some time. When you’re patient with yourself and your situation, things tend to get easier…
Of course, forgetting someone is not easy to do nor is it easily explained in just 8 steps. But there are some things that make the process a lot smoother. As I said, it takes time and it’s hard but I’m sure you can do it. The only thing that is really, really important is: It all depends on you! Don’t ever forget that. If you want to forget someone, then you will, there is no doubt! Even if it takes a long time, even if you have to be really strong…you will be! In that kind of situation we usually find out that we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. So believe that — believe that, take a deep breath and move on! Your life’s waiting for you, baby!
Don’t do what I did and dwell and relive the constant pain by contacting them and waiting for their response which will never be what you want to hear. If you read my stories you will see. It will only set you back. Whether or not you believe you are meant to be together this is you’re soul-mate ect. We have to face the fact that they do not feel the same way. When someone wants you nothing will keep them away. Nothing! It took me a long time to realize this along with a lot of tears and sleepless nights and unwarranted emails always wanting a reason why. It will never be the answer we seek.
Choose happiness and believe you deserve it, learn from this and find a reason everyday to be happy and grateful for what we have now. Remember you are not alone. I for one am here and can relate, see that’s one and there are many many more like me.
Both are about past lives and how we immediately recognize our soul mates when we meet them. We have many soul connections. Parents, siblings, friends, children and lovers . We travel in the same soul groups and meet over and over throughout our journey, constantly learning new lessons from our soul connections. It made me think about a lot of things. My marriage for one and why I never felt that connection to my husband after 15 yrs even though I loved him. It was different. Or the way I loved my father we definitely had past lives together. I believe he was my dad before maybe my brother and in one life definitely my mother . I can’t wait to see you again daddy on the other side and in another life. My parents true love soul mates and they will be together again this I know.
We meet different people everyday and sometimes we meet the ones that we feel like we have known our whole lives . We have that feeling immediately . These are our soul connections. We are kindred spirits and we will meet again over and over.
This brings me to the only time I ever felt what I call ” love at first sight”. When I met my ex. The minuet I saw him it was like somebody snapped their fingers in my face and said wakeup. I felt something I never felt before. The reason this is so odd for me is because for one, I never ever have been that drawn to anyone I just met and two, he felt it too he told me. And three, I would never go for someone like him he was way younger than me. But we fell in love even though we both fought it at first, me more than him. It had to happen. I believe this now. For some reason there were lessons I or we needed to learn. We always felt a deep connection to each other and we knew it. But he was so young 14 years younger than me that I felt guilt sometimes. However, I never have been loved so deeply or loved someone so deeply. When it ended I was left devastated. But I think if we were the same age the devastation would have been lesser for me . For some reason I was supposed to look younger to attract him, I think, and we were suppose to fall in love which we did. And we lived together 2 years and then broke up. The years we spent together and the year and half since we broke up have completely change me as a person changed the way I feel about love and life. I realize he made me love on a level I never experienced . I don’t know if it was the same for him because of the age difference but I hope it was. We took that picture the night we met with my phone. We would break up shortly after that for 2 weeks . When I go to his place to bring him some things he left at my house and say goodbye “it was a pleasure meeting and knowing you but you should date someone you’re own age”. I will never forget the way he grabbed me and hugged me and said “I can’t explain it I feel like I am making a mistake”. I did too, but I said no this is the right thing. Then when I left I started crying as soon as I got in my car, so unlike me I couldn’t explain it we only dated a month at that time. So not like me. We ended up back together in 2 weeks because of him pursuing me. We lived together for 2 years.
Excerpt from the book: “Only Love is Real.”
Sometimes your soulmate is willing and available.
He or she might recognize the passion and the
chemistry between you, the intimate and subtle bonds
that imply connections over many lifetimes. Yet he or she
may be toxic for you. It is a matter of soul development.
}If one soul is less developed and more ignorant than
the other, traits of violence, greed, jealousy, hatred, and
fear might be brought into the relationship. These
tendencies are toxic to the more evolved soul, even if
from a soulmate. Frequently rescue fantasies arise with
the thought, I can change him; I can help her grow. If he
does not allow your help, if in her free will she chooses
not to learn, not to grow, the relationship is doomed.
Perhaps there will be another chance in another lifetime,
unless he awakens later in this one. Late awakenings do
Sometimes soulmates decide not to get married
while incarnated. They arrange to meet, to stay together
until the agreed upon task is completed, and then to
move on. Their agendas, their lesson plans for the
entirety of this life, are different, and they do not want to
or need to spend all of this lifetime together. This is not a
tragedy, only a matter of learning. You have eternal life
together, but sometimes you may need to take separate
A soulmate who is available but unawakened is a
tragic figure and can cause you great anguish.
Unawakened means that he or she does not see life
clearly, is not aware of the many levels of existence.
Unawakened means not knowing about souls. Usually it
is the everyday mind that prevents awakening.
}We hear the excuses of the mind all the time: I’m too
young; I need more experience; I’m not ready to settle
down yet; you are of a different religion (or race, region, social status, intellectual level, cultural background, and so on). These are all excuses, for souls possess none of these attributes.
The person may recognize the chemistry. The attraction is definitely there, but the source of the chemistry is not understood. It is delusional to believe that this passion, this soul recognition and attraction, will
be easily found again with another person. You do not run into such a soul mate every day, perhaps only one or two more in a lifetime. Divine grace may reward a good heart, a loving soul.Never worry about meeting soul mates. Such meetings are a matter of destiny. They will occur. After the meeting, the free will of both partners reigns. What decisions are made or not made are a matter of freewill, of choice. The less awakened will make decisions based on the mind and all of its fears and prejudices.Unfortunately, this often leads to heartache. The more awakened the couple is, the more the likelihood of a decision based on love. When both partners are awakened, ecstasy is within their grasp.
I write a lot about him and what he did to me in the end. Will we meet again? I think so and maybe next time I will know instinctively or somehow just know not to get involved with him . However, I need to forgive in this life first and that I am coming to terms with little by little.
He brought out the best and the worst in me. He made me feel the deepest love I have ever felt and hate for the first time in my life.I am still trying to decide what lesson or lessons I was supposed to learn from him. He couldn’t let me go as much as I couldn’t let him go . I loved and hated him at the same time. I hope I never see him again. It would be too painful. We only live 30mins apart. I don’t look for him or check his fb page because I don’t want to know . But I think this is for the best because I do not want to ever see him again. He did love me deeply, yes he did. He also hurt me deeply and lied and was deceitful. All bad things so could he really be a soul mate? Why do we have great chemistry with one or maybe two relationships in our lifetimes and almost no real chemistry with most of them? Is this what soul mates mean? It’s not about being the best looking he certainly was not the best looking guy I have ever been with or the richest. It’s a feeling I just can’t explain. As much as I was drawn to him. There was always a feeling that something was not right. I always blamed it on age, but I know now that wasn’t the only thing. It was what is inside of him something that was not true and real. Was he just an undeveloped soul like the book said ? Were we both? Or was he just a very good actor who used me for his own advantage a sociopath. That is what my head tells me. My heart wants to believe differently.
I hope there is another soul mate in this lifetime for me because this can’t be it, he can’t be it for me. Is this karma from something I did in a past life. Or just a lesson I needed to learn? Only time will tell,but can you ever truly in your heart move on from a true soul mate?
Why men love bitches” (from doormat to dream-girl) by Shery Argov.
It’s not about being a bitch per sei, but to be aware of male behavior,